Numbers

Nick and I have known each other for 2164 days.

Nick and I have been together for 1646 days.

Nick and I have lived together for 512 days.

I have been a college student for 1210 days.

I have been alive for 7991 days.

On the day I met Nick, I was 5827 days old.

On Tuesday, December 25, 2018, I will have known Nick for as many days as I was old when I met him.


If we get married on the day I want to get married and don't have kids until we have talked about having kids, I will be 28 or 29 years old when I have my first child. I always wanted to have a kid before that. My mom had me when she was 29 and turned 30 when I was three months old. I want to have a kid before I turn 30 because I want my kids to spend more time with their grandmother than I did with mine. Nick's grandmother is still alive and they get to talk with her and share everything with her. I want my kids to drink and party with their grandmother like Nick and Katti do with theirs.

I hate Windows

Me: Hey, I wanna play this game with my 360 controller.

Windows: Oh okay.

Me: This game says it's the coolest with the controller.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: It says it does rumble.

Windows: Yes.

Me: So, I'm gonna plug it in...and you should...see it right?

Windows: Sure.

Me: Okay, it's there.

Windows: I'm not seeing it.

Me: Well, it's there.

Windows: Still not seeing it.

Me: Let me unplug it and I'll put it back in.

Windows: Uh no. Nothing.

Me: Um. So. Do you need a driver or something for this?

Windows: I'm not quite sure.

Me: Can you check?

Windows: No.

Me: Well, I'm going to ask Google. He always knows.

Windows: I can wait.

Me: He says you do.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I went to your website and you just wanted me to buy a controller.

Windows: Well, yeah. You need one to play the game.

Me: Yeah, well. I have one right here. Remember? It's plugged in.

Windows: Oh. Yeah. I can't see it though.

Me: Right.

Windows: Right.

Me: So, I'm going to go ask Google again. Maybe he knows a better place.

Windows: Okay.

Me: He told me to go to your website again.

Windows: Yeah, it's probably there.

Me: Well, the link they sent me to? It doesn't work.

Windows: Huh.

Me: So. I'm going to look around a little.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why isn't it on the page with the controller? You know. Under related topics or links or whatever.

Windows: Shrug.

Me: Huh.

Windows: ...

Me: Oh well I'm going to go to this product download link.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: Why do you need to know what I'm downloading it for? I told you on that other page.

Windows: I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: I can't see it. I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: ...

Me: Okay, well it's downloading.

Windows: What?

Me: A driver or something. I don't know. It's downloading.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why is it going to take five minutes?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay.

Windows: ...

Me: Well, it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: So, it's installing.

Windows: Okay.

Me: You know, my OS came out after the 360.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: So why didn't you just include the driver with the OS?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: I have a lot of useless stuff from you already. Why didn't you just include it?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why the hell do you always want me to restart? The light is lit up. Why do I have to restart?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Bill Gates doesn't even know why I have to restart.

Windows: Well...we don't talk anymore.

Me: Huh. Well, I'm not restarting.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I'm going to go play my game now.

Windows: We'll see...

Me: Wait.

Windows: What?

Me: Why's the program still there?

Windows: Which one?

Me: The one I installed the driver with.

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Why couldn't you just delete it after it installed?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: And what's this Windows Update thing?

Windows: Hm?

Me: You just installed the driver and already you need to fix it.

Windows: Well... This is an update just for you.

Me: You couldn't just put the latest version on your website?

Windows: No.

Me: You asked me what OS I was using.

Windows: Yes. Yes I did.

Me: So. You could have just the latest one for my OS there. On that special page. For me.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Huh.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: You want me to restart again.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Fine.

Windows: See you later.

Me: Whatever.

The Way We Were and Holiday Inn

I finally got to watch the end of The Way We Were. I watched part of it before we went to France but Nick and I had to leave for some reason so I never saw the end of it. Well. It suffered from Roman Holiday syndrome in that spoiler alert the main characters don't get together and I end up being upset with my ovaries in overdrive.

Then today I watched (my favorite holiday movie) Holiday Inn. Every single time I watch that movie I forget how racist it is. Blackface? Check. Minstrel show? Check. African American cook with terrible racist lines and a racist role? Check. Besides Lincoln's birthday, it's great! And it's good to see where the song White Christmas came from too. And Bing Crosby? Sigh...that man and Irving Berlin will always have my heart.

And that was my weekend.

Oh and remember how our car only had two doors that would open from the outside? Well after work on Friday those two doors were frozen shut. I tried for half an hour to get into the car before my boss' boss came by and I asked him for help. He got me into the car but he broke one of the handles. So now we have one door that opens from the outside. He felt awful about it. I told him it was just a door handle. He's probably going to offer to pay for it tomorrow but he was just trying to help. There's no way I can take his money.

And our cats still have fleas.

I was going to write this great story about how, while watching The Way We Were, Nick had a great observation about handsome movie stars (past and present) looking alike but apparently this isn't a new conclusion.

Here it is anyway:

Robert Redford and Brad Pitt look exactly the same. Especially when RR smiles.

The end.

P.S. Toi noted that the level I was stuck on was the last level of the best timesuck ever so I decided to savor it until I can convince myself that there will be awesome games after this one. Sigh.

P.P.S. Even though I am a big fan of peace etc, I cannot resist a man in uniform.

Amusement

Okay, kids. Do me a favor and go play this game. And turn your sound on because it is gorgeous.

Why must you play this game? Because it's a lot of fun and really pretty.

Also, I'm stuck on a level and I need your help.




UPDATE!: I am stuck on 3.6. I was stuck on 3.4 for an hour but I wiped it from my memory so I don't remember how I did it. I wish I could go back and figure it out.

Especially in Michigan

I am very blessed. I have a boyfriend who loves me (and lets me sleep and makes me bagels with cream cheese and turkey (when I don't feel well and when he thinks it sounds disgusting)) and whom I love. I have a family that despite my coming home from a semester in Europe and immediately moving out, still loves me.

I am blessed because I had two Thanksgivings. And I will have two Christmases.

I talked to one of the new student workers today. His father lost his factory job and his mother lost her greenhouse job. Downsizing. He had Spaghetti O's for Thanksgiving. In his dorm room. He says Christmas doesn't look too great either.

I left work crying.

I've always had a Christmas. I've always had a Thanksgiving. No matter how poor my parents said they were that year. I can't imagine not having one. But this kid did. This kid will.

My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas and if I had made a list. She told me to scale my wants to the current economy.

I truthfully haven't even thought about it. Even when I did think about it, I couldn't think of a single thing.

I don't really want anything but I can't send her a blank list. Maybe books or clothes or something...?

I don't know. I haven't wanted anything lately.

Wedding pictures are up (finally)

I chose the ones I looked the best in (and defied copyright by using PrintScreen hahaha. And all I have is Paint so they're grainy.). Behold the Palin hair (clicken to enbiggen):




















My future family: Katti, Dad, Oliver, Mom, Jess (the bride), Ryan (the groom), Nick and me.









Nick's grandmother and grandfather on his mother's side. I don't know when this happened but oh man, I love her. This is the one that's a lot of fun if she's been drinking. We were at Nick's parents' house the other weekend and she knocked over three glasses by the end of the night. She blamed the last glass on her boobs. I'm not kidding.



Katti was gorgeous. She's with Nick's five year old cousin here. The last time I saw her was two years ago. She didn't remember me but we went blueberry picking with her before the wedding and then played games at her grandmother's house for hours after Katti got tired so I think we're pretty good friends now. She's adorable and really shy but she warms up to you pretty quickly.















I love Nick's family. Coming up next, Mr. Hazen = Stalin?

I'm watching Justice for Annie. I hope I see her mom get Justice this time.


I am so excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow. The food, pies, food, family, food. And I will finally be able to listen to Christmas music without getting lectured by Katti the grouch. I'm making hot brandy apple cinder for tomorrow. I'm excited for it. Katti made it a year ago and it was so good.

Our Thanksgiving plans: We're going up to Nick and Katti's parents' first tomorrow. We're eating at 1 there then going to my parents' after dropping Katti and Oliver off at Oliver's brother's house. His brother lives a street down from my parents' house. Then we're lying around and not doing anything for the rest of the week.


Oliver got a call from Comcast and he has an interview next week. .الحمد لله They gave him shift times already too and Nick thinks it's in the bag. I hope so.


It's hard to split all of these holidays between our two families. I told Nick we can swap holidays (my family one year, his the next) but it's hard.

Nick put some of our Christmas lights up on Sunday. Yay! I'm going to start listening to my Christmas albums and Katti can't stop me. I get to wear my Christmas earrings soon too.

So the unemployment benefits that Oliver totally was going to get and sit on while he didn't look for a job?

He didn't get them.

So Katti and Oliver have barely any money. They just received their stimulus check in the mail so there's that.

But other than that?

Rent is due in two weeks. They haven't paid us for cable, gas or electric since we moved in.

Nick and I cannot afford to do this but we can't afford to do it alone either.

Bummer.

Things I heard from the latest winner of ANTM

Alter-alias
Calls herself McKey ... real name Brittany
...her voice

Okay, the only things that bugged me were her voice and how she kept calling McKey her alter-alias. Like it was a real word. Since she's only 19 and a sophomore, maybe she hasn't gotten to the English class where they teach you real words.

I thought the blond girl was cuter. Also, this one slouched.

The United States of US!

We won.

I don't mean me. I don't mean my liberal buddies. I don't mean democrats.

I mean us. We.

We won.

I know not all of you like what happened last night. I know that some of you are quite upset. But no matter who you voted for, you have to understand that we all won.

America won last night.

For the first time in American history, we have a black president. Do you understand how big this is? Whether you like it or not, this is huge. And this is good.

Your children will learn about this in school. They will ask you about it. Where were you? What did you think?

What will you tell them?

Will you tell them that you were upset that the old white guy didn't win like he has won every single election since the United States was born?

Or will you tell them that it was a great time to be an American. A great moment to have watched, to have participated in, no matter which side the winner was on.

This is a big deal kids. This is history.


-------


I cried last night. I couldn't stop smiling and I cried so many times. This is a big deal. This is huge. This is great.

For the first time in my life, I am proud to be an American.


--------

Obama will be sworn in January 20th, 2009. It will mark the 100th anniversary of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

Obama got his start in politics in Springfield, Illinois. It was a race riot in Springfield, Illinois that led to the creation of NAACP.

For African Americans, when their children said, "I want to be a doctor, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be a politician, I want to be an astronaut." They always could point to an African American who achieved it. But whenever a kid said, "I want to be president," I literally saw black parents saying, "Son (or daughter), you might think of being something else." I have nine nieces and four nephews. When I talk to them, I can actually say that and mean it.
-Roland S. Martin

I got a sticker. And candy.

I voted. It took no time at all and I wrote my dad in for drain commissioner (and all the other ones he writes himself in for).

I AM VOTING IN MY FIRST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION TOMORROW AND I AM SO EXCITED OMGOMGOMG.

I am sick and tired of polisci kids thinking that because they are a polisci major they somehow are more worldly and knowledgeable than I am. That they are somehow better than I am.

And this not voting shit? WHAT THE FUCK.

I don't care if your hippie ideals don't fit with the world you live in. You live here. I'm sorry your dreams are being crushed but this is the real world.

For fuck's sake, you're a woman! I hate to pull the starving children in China routine but you are damn lucky you even have this opportunity. I don't care if you think your vote is supporting some corrupt system. If your vote doesn't count, as you say it doesn't, how could it support anything.

Sitting at home not voting and thinking about how the world could be better does nothing. I'm not saying voting will but at that point, doing anything will.

The world won't change in a day. It won't change with your increasing polisci knowledge, it won't change with my vote. But maybe the person I vote for will change something small.

Even if that doesn't happen, I can do something. You can do something. Wars aren't won as wars, they are won as battles. My vote changes something. In that decision, universes split off.

I just don't understand how someone as intelligent as you are can be so stupid.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."

Fred Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park

Every presidential candidate should visit one of Michigan's unemployment offices.

Oliver lost his job last week. Katti and I accompanied him to the unemployment office Michigan Works!. I can only assume the office was named by someone who actually has a job in Michigan. Not the 25+ people I saw who didn't.

In the ten minutes we were there, I saw three different people who represented what is happening today to average American citizens.

One man was on the phone with his bank (or trying to be on the phone with his bank...no one was answering his phone calls) trying to figure why his house was being foreclosed. The bank he had his mortgage through went under and another bank bought it out. He was upset that he didn't have a say in what happened with his money and his house.

Another man was wondering why he needed his birth certificate for his new job.

And then there was Oliver. Oliver worked for two and a half years at the same job, was making $14 an hour plus commissions. He was not allowed to take time off when his niece had a funeral for the baby she miscarried. He almost couldn't take time off for his sister-in-law's wedding and rehearsal dinner. Then he slowly got crappier and crappier shifts as they brought in new people who they could pay less and the company went under. He was just an average unemployed guy and like every average unemployed person in that room, he had no idea how to apply for unemployment.

The unemployment website and process is confusing. He did everything that he thought he needed to do, and they told him he was okay but he still had no idea if he was done, getting unemployment or if he still needed to do something. And he's pretty smart.

How can a system help people when the system can't even explain itself well enough for those who need it to understand what they need to do?

Instead of going to big rallies and stupid debates where they repeat the same things over and over, someone needs to see what's happening here. Someone needs to talk to us, to find out what we need.

Because we need help.

Names have been removed so you don't hunt me down and kill me

I knew you were head over heels for God but I didn't know it was the spirit healing, homosexual-hating, anti-abortion, god.

I should have guessed as much when you couldn't live with your fiancé before you got married but I held on to hope that our god was the same god. It apparently is not.



RE:[...]HATES living in GR, and wants to move, and is terrified because someone tried to break into our house last night, after breaking into our car AGAIN! ugh!

"Crime happens everywhere and once it happens to you it puts fear in you. Did [...] ever have anyone pray through that house before he moved in? The property? We should come over and anoint the house, the property, and your vehicles. I'd be happy to do that and I'm sure I can find some others to do that with us. I think you will see a big difference. Now is not a good time to sell your house so we need to pray and let God show you what a great protector He can be."

Project Runway is dead to me.

That is all.

Crosslisted

Nick's little sister got married on Saturday. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.

In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo with 38 bobbypins at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.

Congratulations, you two. And good luck.

I love you all.

P.S. I did not cry at the wedding (I almost did when she walked down the aisle and was sure I would) but I cried writing this.

The Wedding: a schedule

For those of you who are visiting this weekend, and wish to see me all done up, the wedding schedule follows.

Friday: I have class and work until 3. Everyone else is cleaning and decorating the church and reception hall. Dinner is at 5. I have not determined what I am wearing yet. It all depends upon the weather and if I want to shave my legs.

Saturday: Katti, Jess, Hazen Mom and I are getting our hair done at 8 or 9 and our makeup done at 10. (at this point, one car will be taken up to Rockford since someone had the genius idea of having the wedding in Ada and the reception in Rockford.) At noon, we go to the church where we get ready and have prep photos taken. Jess and Ryan will have their photos taken at one, we all hang around until two or so then group photos start. These photo sessions are supposed to last until the wedding at 5. After the wedding, we help move decorations and carpool up to Rockford for the reception. Then we socialize until it is the appropriate time to bail.

It's a pretty crazy day. If you want to see me all dolled up, I don't know when or where you want to be. Maybe I'll just call you when we're finally home. Let me know.

A few things

First, I bought this book over the weekend. The first 80 pages are full of primers on all the tools and techniques you use for the projects. Needless to say, I was a bit overwhelmed.

I decided to ignore everything except what I needed for the first project and I feel a lot better about the book now. At the beginning, I said I was going to make everything in the book but I really didn't think I'd actually make anything.

So I got to it and I decided to make the first project in the book, figuring it would be the easiest.

It's an LED bracelet. I bought what I could for it today, including online purchases. It was funny being in Home Depot because no one who wanted to help us had any idea what or where the stuff I needed was. It's was like an adventure. Only it was really annoying.

Secondly, will.i.am is going to be at AQ this Sunday at 11. Who is pumped? I am pumped.

Thirdly, I would like to go see Cloud Cult sometime this fall. Rumor has it, this is their last tour and their last album before an indefinite hiatus. Luckily (for me), almost all the upcoming tour dates are near your new homes. They will be in DC on November 10, Boston on November 13, Bethlehem, PA on November 14 and Menominee, WI on November 17. I threw the WI one in there because Nick's aunt and uncle live in WI somewhere. I don't know which one I'm going to choose yet but I'm going to talk it over with Nick and look at trains so let me know if any dates work out for you two.

I also am planning a Lansing/Ann Arbor trip sometime soon, so steel yourself, Toi. If this trip actually goes through, I'll be traveling with Katti, Oliver and maybe a few of our friends. Katti and Oliver have a friend who lives in Lansing so we could all crash with him.

The president's son brought his dog in today. To work. Apparently the RR wanted to see it. She isn't in today.

It's a big dog.

Why I feel the need (suddenly) to become a member of the Grand Rapids Art Museum

"Sign up for membership before October 2 and recieve an exclusive invitation to the Member Preview Party with Special Guest Speaker, Nigel Barker. Enhanced Members are invited to reserve seats."

Totally. Going.

How I remember

Quickie

ED's last day was Friday. Admissions had two parties for her, one on Thursday and one on Friday.

Our office was not invited to either of them. Neither were any other offices.

What's the point of an in-office party? Especially since we all really love ED? We invite them to all of our parties.

Now I totally hate Admissions. It's like the cool kids had a party and talked all about it. And no one else was invited.

! الحمد لله

I am so sorry that I haven't updated lately but things have been crazy. On Mondays and Thursdays, I have class from 9am - 7pm with 5 minutes between classes and work crammed in there too. Otherwise, I have one or two classes.

Here's the rundown:

Mondays/Thursdays
I have Cartography at 9. This class is awesome because I've always wanted to be a useless cartographer and it's taught by Bieneman. Did I ever tell you I had his wife in elementary school? She was my fourth grade teacher. Her mother passed away this week.

At 10:50, I go to work until 1:25.

Don't even get me started on these new kids. They deserve their own post.

At 1:40, I have French Film and Lit. It's only the second week of school and I already am just reading the SparkNotes. The class would be so much less painful with you girls but I'm surviving okay with...the one girl whose name I still don't know after four years and some other girl.

Five minutes after the end of French class, I have Ceramics. It's really just a class to help me calm down but I've already broken two pots and found two very not artistic buddies. I am so not artsy.

Five minutes after the end of feeling dumb, I have Arabic. Which is, quite frankly, awesome. It is difficult but a ton of fun. I feel like such a genius when I get a word right or when I understand what's going on. Also: heritage! I hope I get to talk to my mom's relatives before the kick the bucket because now I know my blood languages (as my mom calls it).

Tuesdays/Fridays
I have a confession to make. Because I couldn't afford the textbook and he stressed homework so much, I dropped my history class. So now I have to take it next semester.

In other news, at 10:50, I have Tai Chi. Which is reaching Folk and Square Dance in awesomeness. The prof learned Tai Chi directly from some famous family who created a form of Tai Chi. He is a hoot. I have a thousand stories from him. He fell off a curb and landed on cement about a year ago and had trouble walking again. His hip hurt when he walked so he couldn't walk across the room until he tried doing Tai Chi. When he walked by doing his Tai Chi moves, his hip didn't hurt any more. Since he is injured, his wife does most of the demonstrations. She also helps him remember how old he is when he adds thirteen years to his age. Both of them are pretty old, 60s and 70s, but they are hilarious. He calls himself Monk and his wife Natalie Teager. Most of the class is taken up by his stories.

On Tuesdays, I have Arabic at 6 (work before that (10:50 to 5) but I have Arabic only Mondays through Thursdays so I just have Tai Chi and work on Fridays.

On Wednesdays, I am not working for the first time in my life. So all I have is Arabic at 6. I sleep, I read, I do homework, I relax.


Overall, this semester is awesome but very stressful. I have a lot of work ahead of me.

So tomorrow is the first day of my last year in college.

And that is terribly depressing.

I am trying very hard to just breathe. I've tried every meditation exercise from my Nutrition, Exercise and Stress class (best. class. ever. I still, obviously, use the meditation techniques we did every day in that class.) but lately I have been returning to my France mantra.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. It's okay.

I've been crying over every little thing. Which, you know, would be fine except I had finally gotten over my uber-sensitive crying phase.

Dude. Depressing emo blog man. I shall stop now and go eat something before winding down and going to bed.

I love you dudes.

Work is weird sometimes.

So. At work.

Someone turned in a CE application. Dee was sitting at her desk, going through it and she started getting a headache. She kept asking if a student was up front with me but I kept telling her no, no one's here.

She finally came to me, held out the application and told me to smell it.

Whoever was applying had sprayed their application all pretty. It stank like a magazine.

I was hoping she just spilled her perfume or whatever on the application but Dee thinks she sprayed it. "Like a love letter," she said.

I hope not.

Olympics

Those opening ceremonies? Man. DUDE.

DUDE.

I haven't seen a whole lot of Olympics being only 21 but the opening ceremonies are always my favorite part. And this year? Shit. Dude. They were awesome.

PR - from the hip

Sleezebag has never seen the Olympic Opening Ceremony? Ever?

Leatha is driving me insane.

Keith is getting the bitch cut.

Thank God another twin is gone. Now I can tell everyone apart.

Done

I found out something tonight that, while it may explain the fact that Katie has not spoken to me yet and has been distant for the past year, is kind of something you tell your best friend. While I have not been involved anything to the degree that she has, when I did it/it happened to me I did tell my best friend. Sadly, she wasn't there to be that friend.

So I've resigned myself to the fact that we're not doing this friend thing anymore. I called her earlier today and she called back while I was napping (I tend to think too much when I'm sad/stressed/whatever and this thinking thing earned me two hours of sleep before a long work day). I have not returned her call and I don't think I will. If she happens to call while I'm home, I might pick up. I might not.

I probably won't.

I'm dropping all internet connections with her and we'll see how things go.

The ball's in her court now. I've always been the bigger person. I am not doing that anymore. I have put too much effort into this black hole of a relationship to keep going. I'm not doing that to myself. I've done it my entire life. I know better.

Although I might not have consciously believed it, I stopped calling her my best friend a long time ago. I should have seen the warning signs but I had hope. I mean, I hadn't received a call or postcard or letter or anything from her while she was away but I had a thousand excuses for that.

Oh well.

It's all for the best really.

This should be the last I'll talk about this here. Sorry about this. Sometimes it feels better if I just let it all out and everyone else just wants to fix it, not to listen.

I'm glad you all understand. Thank you for all the support. It's hard to lose a friend you've had for such a long time. Especially since, with all the moving during my childhood, I've never had one for that long. This whole situation is quite new to me. I've had my heart broken many a time but never by a friend.

Blah blah emo etc

Love you all.

So still no "hey I'm back."

I had a rational moment this weekend where I remembered that Saturday was only her first whole day back so it was reasonable to have not heard anything from her. However, I had to hear something from her Sunday at the very least. Or Monday, even.

Nope.

I've gone from being very, very pissed to feeling ill. I feel sick.

It's funny, it's like broken heart/breakup pains. And all she did so far was not call or tell anyone she was back.

And then I was thinking maybe she doesn't have my phone number. That's obviously why she hasn't called. But my cell phone number is the same as it was a year ago. And we've had each other's home phone numbers memorized since tenth grade.

She must just be busy.

I just called my house to make sure she hadn't called home and someone just forgot to tell me. No. No call.

This is driving me crazy. It is like a bad breakup.

Did I just lose my best friend? Or was she already gone?

I'm just overreacting.

Right?

On a slightly more serious note.

So.

I'm kind of very upset right now. I'm going to try to talk myself through this but I really wish you guys were here. I need you like whoa.

My best friend from high school, Katie (not to be confused with Nick's sister, Katti), went to study in Germany for a year last June. I got back from France at the beginning of June and she left at the end of June. Needless to say, we didn't hang out that much in between.

Before I even left for France, our relationship was strained. She went to Western but I always found time to visit her during Fall and Spring Break.

She started dating some guy before she left for Germany. It was a big deal for her because she didn't really do the dating thing. It just made our beginning to be weird relationship even stranger.

Don't get me wrong, the second day I got back from France, she was the first person I visited. The day before I left, she was the last person I saw.

Like I said, she left for Germany at the end of June. She came back to visit for a few days in October. She flew straight into Kalamazoo, spent time with her boyfriend, saw her family a little, and flew back.

She did this all as a surprise to her parents and her boyfriend of six months. Without telling anyone she was visiting (or coming to visit) and only letting everyone else (who wasn't her Mom, Dad, brother or boyfriend (i.e.: her friends)) know that she'd been in the country once she was back in Germany.

I was a little pissed then.

While in Germany, she constantly complained about not receiving mails or phone calls from anyone back home. Which I understood because I only received three letters in France. One of which was from school. But the thing is, she actually got letters. A lot of them. As in, more than ten.

Which I guess just made me jealous, not really mad.

Here's the thing that really pissed me off. Here's the reason I want to scream and cry and yell and punch someone in the face:

She's home.

She's done with her program, she came home on Friday and she didn't let any of her friends know.

She didn't let me know. She hasn't told me. She hasn't called me.

She didn't update her journal saying she was almost done with her program and leaving next week or next month or whatever.

She was just magically home.

Oh and how did I find out if she hasn't told anyone? I found out because I checked her flickr photos and she had pictures of the airport. And her boyfriend.

I told people when I was coming home. I told them the flight number and time and I called people and told them far ahead of time and...

So.

I don't know what our friend status is but I just don't care anymore.

No. I do care. I care a lot.

But I don't want to.

I really wish you guys were here. I really need you right now.

Project Runway Addendum Post

I think my new favorite blog says it best:

On the Beardy man: "Joe, you're going to need to have a crying fit or a fight with the judges or make a vow to destroy one of your competitors because we have trouble remembering you're even there."

On O Tanny Boy: "Coming so close on the heels of last season's exhausting (and overt) push of Christian Siriano star-making, we feel like we just got finished babysitting a friend's kid when another friend unexpectedly showed up to drop their flamboyant little attention-seeking child off. Sure, we'll watch them for you but we're wiped out, so we're probably going to ignore them a lot and let them play with drycleaning bags."

On Suede's winning dress: "Lorenzo thinks she looks like a frozen pizza."

ALSO!!! BRAVO'S NEW SHOW!

"FASHION HOUSE (working title), a creative competition program based on the British format of the same name, replicates the workings of the fashion business through a fashion house. Teams of designers will live together and work to create not just a single item of clothing but an entire, cohesive line. These collections are created on deadline and are presented to commercial buyers with the opportunity of having the designers' line mass marketed."

Eat that, Project Runway leaving me and turning suck!

Anyway. I'm off to watch the latest episode. You should read that blizog.

Project Lameway

Moi mentioned that Project Runway is really lame this season and it really is. It's like the producers realized that the only people we liked in the past were characters so they needed a whole season of characters. But it was an awful idea.

Because I hate nearly all of them.

And they don't even have names to me, they all have shticks and that is what they are...shticks. Even the one (or two) that I don't mind have their own little pigeonhole.

Oh and if they don't have a thing? They look exactly like another person.


Here's a rundown:

Jerry Tam - Bland asian middle-aged guy. Spoiler alert - Don't get attached. He's gone already.

Wesley Nault - New England trust fund guy. Spoiler alert - boring and gone.

Blayne Walsh - Tanning kid.

Daniel Feld - Is he the black guy? Oh no, he's what's his face. Sleezeball. He gives me the heeble-jeebles.

Emily Brandle - The Bettie Page girl. Oh no. The shy girl. Oh no. The other one. The one that's not any of these.

Korto Momolu - The African girl. Trust me, she'll remind you in every interview just which one she is.

Jennifer Diederich - The one that looks like Leanne and is overlooked like Leanne.

Jerell Scott - This one's the black guy, right?

Joe Faris - Hey, he's from Michigan. I don't remember who he is though. Beard guy? Yeah, beard guy. The one that isn't anyone else.

Keith Bryce - The you-are-really-cute-why-aren't-you-straight guy.

Kelli Martin - The blond Bettie Page.

Kenley Collins - The original Bettie Page.

Leanne Marshall - The quiet one that looks like Jennifer and is overlooked like Jennifer.

Stella Zotis - The one who likes leather. And wears hooker clothes that are WAY too young for her.

Stephen "Suede" Baum - He calls himself Suede. He talks in the third person. 'Nuff said.

Terri Stevens - The black woman.

We are finally out of the old apartment and the second I walked out the door (after cleaning for three days, scrubbing and smelling icky chemicals for at least two hours) a gigantic weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Work has been hella crazy lately. Ashley and I are working on this giant project and maybe have an eighth of it done between the both of us. I am supposed to be working for financial aid sometime too but I feel bad abandoning Ashley when it's so crazy. And I would have to go and do it up in admissions. Which is always awkward because I feel like an outsider.

Anyway life is pretty good. Katti says I can ride her bike to work. I bought a helmet this weekend and all I need now is a bike lock. I'm pretty pumped.

I started thinking about this upcoming semester and got really sad so I don't want to think about it until August 25. Thank you.

I have a multi-tiered confession to make.

I was at WAL-MART the other day and saw some wedges that I thought looked really cute. And I almost bought a pair. Then I thought about rolling my ankle in them all the time and realized what I was doing and dropped them and quickly walked away.

Luckily I did not try them on.

Recap of Rachel's life

Since you all abandoned me to your happy little homes, here's what has happened:

Nick and I decided to move in with Katti/Oliver (in their GIANT house) because it would be way cheaper. I didn't really want to but $250ish compared to the $805 that we're paying where we are sounded great. (House residents: Katti, Oliver, Ben, Ben's new gf, Elliott, Dickhead, Mumbling Man, Jeremy)

The only problem was, they didn't have a room for us.

So they decided to kick out one of the two roommates who were not paying rent on time.

Once that was decided, one of Katti/Oliver's roommates, Dickhead, made a pass at me. I didn't care but Nick refused to move in with Katti/Oliver after that. He later recanted but it didn't matter because....

Two days later, while she was trying to tell him he was a douchebag (but in a nice way) Dickhead made a pass at Ben's new girlfriend, WannabeWinehouse.

WW told Ben they couldn't live in the house anymore.

Katti/Oliver were just going to try to find new roommates when they found out that Dickhead knew he screwed up and hit on WW just to screw everyone over.

Ben kicked Dickhead out.

Mumbling Man left. Without paying rent. Without telling everyone.

So Katti/Oliver decided to forget about living in the awesome house and I suggested we find a place together since our lease was up at the same time (August 1st).

We were leisurely looking at places and everything was going smoothly until Nick and I found out our lease was actually up June 30. Not August 1st.

Nick, Katti, Oliver and I went into frantic apartment hunting mode. Every place we looked at was too small for Katti.

Finally Nick and I decided to just pay fifty dollars more to stay at our apartment for another month.

After looking at a few more places (each too small for all the things Katti/Oliver had gathered during their six and a half years together) someone had the brilliant idea of looking at a three bedroom apartment in the apartment complex we are in now.

We checked it out, it passed and we decided to take it.

We sign the lease on Friday. And Nick and I are going to move all our stuff in on that same day.

We can manage this because the three bedroom apartment is across the sidewalk from our current apartment. So it's down the stairs, out the door, across a sidewalk and ta da!

I am just so excited that this whole thing is over. Finally.

Confessions/Rants

I recently discovered the truth about myself. I have kept it hidden from so many people for so long but I feel that now you must know the truth.





I am a multilevel dork.

I am a closeted comic book nerd. I am excited for the Captain America and Thor movies that are not due out for years.

I like using HTML more than being able to press ctrl b here. I'd rather less than b greater than rather than do this ctrl thing. It makes me feel common.

I love Mario Kart but when I get frustrated with it, I pop in GTA IV and go work for the mob or drive down sidewalks taking down everyone in my path.

If a band is popular, I no longer like it. only like it ironically.

I think Angelina Jolie is a crazy whore.

I hate people who don't use blinkers. Especially when they change lanes.

I always drive the speed limit.

When we saw the preview for the new X-Files movie (BOTH TIMES), I squealed and flailed (BOTH TIMES).

Whenever there was an in-joke during the Hulk movie, I was excited.

I have not watched Trapped in the Closet since my last update.

I do not have a place to live after July 31 and this fact worries me more every day. Sadly, I am tired of looking at apartments already.

The Smiths will forever be my favorite band.

Music is very important to me. I cannot write papers without music. I clean with music. It is hard for me to drive our car because we don't have a radio and I, therefore, have no music.

Improper spelling drives me insane. I don't care where it is. Firefox automatically corrects your spelling. Get it, losers. In this same vein, I did not label one of my boxes "accessories" because I could not remember if both letters were doubled and it would pain me if I was incorrect. It instead got an &c.

People who cannot use the correct your/there drive me insane. I can always see it like it is jumping off the page/screen. Nick is one of these people. It should bother me more but when he does it, I never notice.

CHAPTER FIVE

dude. He sang the bleep. Awesome.

I love hypocrites. R Kelly, you done cheated on her too.

There's the beretta! Okay. Sex with the gun on? Wow.

I don't know how this one will have a cliffhanger. She cheated on him, he cheated on her. The end.

Oh. That's how. I guess he didn't sing the I got pulled over bit.

So. Gwen has a friend Roxanne who knows Chuck and Rufus (the gays from the beginning). Rufus' wife Kathy, with whom R Kelly had an affair, went to high school with Gwen. Kathy introduced Gwen to Police Officer who made R Kelly a cuckold.

CHAPTER FOUR

This is some stylistic driving shit.

Woo woo. I will never hear sirens the same way again.

Are police officers allowed to smoke on the job?

Gwen is an awesome liar.

I am going to try singing/narrating every sex scene from now on. Oh and this sex with pants on thing? Fantastic!

Nice cover up, lying Gwen. TOO BAD IT DIDN'T WORK.

CHAPTER THREE

Okay, pastor with a gay lover, totally cool. Whatever. But your wife picked up some baretta-wielding guy at the club who is now threatening to kill you both and this is the moment you choose to be all hey I'm gay? POOR PLANNING, SIR.

WHY IS R KELLY STILL THERE? Flee the coop! Flee! This ain't none of y'all's bidness.

Okay, shooting commences. I hope no one lives upstairs. Geez.

Who calls it a cellular? Oh R Kelly and your vernacular.

OMG IS HIS WIFE A CHEATIN TOO?

Okay. If she is, why would she let her lover pick up the phooooone? seriously.

I guess we'll find out in...CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER TWO

Kathy looks like she was told to look scared. And she didn't know how.

What the hell is mack shit? I need me a dictionary all up in here.

Click. Who sings the sound you make when you hang up the phone? Really. I wish I'd written this.

Oh no! Who is on the phone!? Why are they coming back? I think I remember this part.

Okay, he is going to shoot both of them because he doesn't know who is walking up the stairs? I don't know how people with guns roll but this is silly.

CHAPTER ONE

I forgot how awesomely bad this episodic adventure was. Just the title screen makes me giggle.

That damn dripping water sound is going to drive me insane.

Omg he's in two places at once! On the bed and in the closet.

Woman move out my way! ... Shu shu quiet. Man, this is classic. There he goes to the closet. There's the upstanding husband...

OH NO HIS PHONE IS RINGING!

OMG OMG DON'T LOOK IN THE CLOSET!

Okay, if this story is to be believed, who brings their beretta to the club? I mean, really.

NOW HE'S AT THE CLOSET NOW HE'S OPENING THE CLOSET. Classy lines, man.

Trapped in the Closet

The first time I watched Trapped in the Closet was three years ago with Micah at AQ. It must have been after some SAC thing. He dragged a bunch of us over to St Joe's and we crowded around someone's laptop, watching the first 11 chapters (if there were more back then, we would have been all over it).

Yesterday, on a whim, I decided to google it and found all TWENTY-TWO CHAPTERS up on ifc.com. Now, I have not watched them all yet but I thought it would be a great way to kick of my liveblog.

Because, really, is there anything better out there?