The Future

Is it terrible of me to be disappointed that I won't be engaged within the next six to eight months?

I mean, we've been together for over 5 years. Come on already.

Is it okay to talk about a wedding and expect a proposal any day now?

But unless Nick's tricking me, it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. Nick wants to go back to school and he wants that to happen before he proposes.

Because once again, he has this grand idea in his head that I want something I don't. This time he thinks I want an expensive engagement ring when I am perfectly happy with spending $125 or $150 or $200 or still $200. But no. He wants to get me a diamond ring or something equally gross and normal.

I am thinking of proposing to him. Just so I can get this party started already.

Being an adult sucks

I don't know about this job yet and don't feel like talking about it/have the time to but I have a story to tell you:

Today, we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.

Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.

So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.

So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.

What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.

Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.

"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."

Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"

Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.

Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.

I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!

During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.

Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.

"Bonjour, Rachelle."

Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.

"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.

"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."

I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!

"It was A JOKE."

"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.

Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.

Ugh. Why don't these people get jokes?

At least they are all nice.

Tats I am currently wanting, location of said tattoos, their commemorative occasion and how long my lust has been brewing

I was bored in Philosophy so I decided to make this list. Quotes denote the actual word or phrase, descriptions accompany pictures/designs.



1. "Orpheus", behind my ear (left? right?) upon my engagement. Lust for this one has been brewing for over two years. Nick doesn't like tattoos (he thinks they're stupid) but I've talked to him about the ones I want and I think (?) he's okay with it. He still thinks they are stupid.

2. Infinite heart (infinity sign with heart on one loop), on my right wrist (in white?) whenever I am with Laura and we are drunks. Lust for this one has been brewing for four to five months.

3. "Music is my aeroplane", unknown location, unknown commemorative event. Lust for this one has only been brewing for a month or so making it the second sketchiest.

4. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.", unknown location, upon birth of first child. Lust has only been brewing for two hours making this one the one I'll probably nix. Also people probably already have it so I will need to google the heck out of it when I get home.

5. "143", below the infinite heart on my right wrist, upon the birth of my first child. Totally pretentious awesomeness? "CXLIII". Did you know google will do Roman numeral translation like it does math equations? It's great. Lust has been brewing for...20 minutes?



This is here so I can reference it, talk it over with you kids and refer to it when brewing more ideas.

Hey, news media!

I don't hate Nadya Suleman because the economy is bad, news media. I would hate her even if I was the richest person in the world and everyone else was happy and had tons of money.

I hate her because she is a single, unemployed mom who already has six kids under the age of eight who is living with her mother. I hate her because one of those six kids is autistic. I hate her because none of her children will get the special attention they need. I hate her because she thinks she can breastfeed all eight of the kids she just had. I hate her because there are people out there trying for just one kid, and never able to have that one kid, while she gets 14. I hate her because she's an idiot.

I want to have kids too but you don't see me running out and getting knocked up. I know that I can't afford to support even one kid right now. How in the world did she think she could support 14? I'm sorry but she cannot have eight more kids and rely on sponsors or media support. I don't think she thought this through at all.

And what kind of doctor transfers six embryos when she has six kids already and is younger than 35? This is just a fucked up situation all around.

ALSO! Do not have babies because you want to be loved. Have babies because you have love to give.

I may be in a mood...

Dear Life (formerly of The Cereal, now Comma My),

Thank you for the awesome birthday week. It was great to have dinner with my parents at a delicious Indian restaurant and I'm glad you let me drag Nick along while he suffered through the terminal stages of Extended Man Cold™.

I am blessed to have awesome friends that wished me a happy birthday all week long. Although work has become super lame since you decided my favorite kid needed to get fired and you brought my arch-nemesis back from Spain, it was great to have to work on my birthday and celebrate with the people I have been stuck with for the past four years. You made me look forward to graduation and leaving this town so much more!

I've got to say though, the coolest part of this birthday week has to be all the plans you decided weren't awesome enough to actually work! Instead of going ice skating with my boyfriend, you gave him a cold and death cough for a week and a half more -- just long enough for him to be whiny, unbearable and asleep by eight o'clock every night of my birthday week. It was also really nice of you to give my roommate a great car, tempt us with a Sonic located closer to us and then decide that her car needed a new alternator the day before the planned trip, trapping us at my school for an hour and a half longer than we really wanted to be there. That was great.

I have one thing to thank you for though. For my birthday weekend, I will pay rent, pay all overdue bills (most likely on my own) and get a haircut then be unable to eat or do anything for the rest of the week. Thank you so much! This is even better than the time you tempted me with seeing the friends I hadn't seen since August and then decided that all six backup plans wouldn't work. And I thought that was awesome. Oh man, I didn't even know you were going to get me a birthday present!

I guess I wanted to just say thanks. Now I know that I really should never plan anything ever again.

However, if you want to come to my graduation, I was just planning on becoming poor and homeless afterward. I don't need a new car, we only need one door to be able to open really and who doesn't love scraping off the outside and inside of the car? I also was just planning on staying in Michigan and never getting a job with my bachelor's degree. Maybe I should plan on drowning in all my debt? Alone? Because I'm planning on never being engaged or married and I never truly wanted kids.

If you want to ruin those plans, go ahead.

Love,
Rachel

P.S. No, I did not get to make that birthday cake, Toi. Because I planned on it and I wanted to.

Second week of classes

I hate the first couple weeks of every semester. The freshmen get to their classes a half an hour early and take up all the seats so I have to sit in the front of class. In order to get to class a half an hour early, they need to park very early. So by the time I get to Fulton lot, there aren't any spots open.

Plus, the parking lot isn't plowed and these freshman apparently have no spatial skills. The parking lot is a mess. Cars are all over the place, making the lane wide enough for one car to drive through at a time. Especially at the back of the parking lot.

Thank goodness they haven't discovered the flood lot yet. There were six cars parked there, including mine. I'm definitely clinging to the hope that they will never find it. I don't know where I'm going to park once it rains. They better have gotten their act together by then.


This is apparently the stupidest group of freshmen we've ever had. They don't know how to schedule classes or listen when you answer their questions. And I don't know if I've become a genius overnight, if I'm good at reading comprehension or if these four years have really beefed up my school skills, but these kids in my English class ALL OF MY CLASSES must be mentally disabled. We read a short story for my English class that was narrated by a nameless boy and girl. It wasn't even hard to tell them apart because the girl's text was bold and not capitalized. Half the kids thought the girl was telling the entire story and the bold parts were flashbacks. And this one girl couldn't believe that the boy and girl would use the same phrases. Even though they were lovers. And they weren't necessarily writing at the same moment. That was when the story was unbelievable to her. And she almost started crying when she was telling all of us this...which was weird.

In my philosophy class, we are only reading nine chapters of our first book. These nine chapters don't need to be read all at once but gradually during the upcoming weeks. I seriously heard multiple people say they couldn't read 200 pages at a time and they were thankful we were reading it slowly. TWO HUNDRED PAGES. HOW THE HELL DID YOU PEOPLE GET THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL/LIFE? OMFG.

I hate Windows

Me: Hey, I wanna play this game with my 360 controller.

Windows: Oh okay.

Me: This game says it's the coolest with the controller.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: It says it does rumble.

Windows: Yes.

Me: So, I'm gonna plug it in...and you should...see it right?

Windows: Sure.

Me: Okay, it's there.

Windows: I'm not seeing it.

Me: Well, it's there.

Windows: Still not seeing it.

Me: Let me unplug it and I'll put it back in.

Windows: Uh no. Nothing.

Me: Um. So. Do you need a driver or something for this?

Windows: I'm not quite sure.

Me: Can you check?

Windows: No.

Me: Well, I'm going to ask Google. He always knows.

Windows: I can wait.

Me: He says you do.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I went to your website and you just wanted me to buy a controller.

Windows: Well, yeah. You need one to play the game.

Me: Yeah, well. I have one right here. Remember? It's plugged in.

Windows: Oh. Yeah. I can't see it though.

Me: Right.

Windows: Right.

Me: So, I'm going to go ask Google again. Maybe he knows a better place.

Windows: Okay.

Me: He told me to go to your website again.

Windows: Yeah, it's probably there.

Me: Well, the link they sent me to? It doesn't work.

Windows: Huh.

Me: So. I'm going to look around a little.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why isn't it on the page with the controller? You know. Under related topics or links or whatever.

Windows: Shrug.

Me: Huh.

Windows: ...

Me: Oh well I'm going to go to this product download link.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: Why do you need to know what I'm downloading it for? I told you on that other page.

Windows: I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: I can't see it. I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: ...

Me: Okay, well it's downloading.

Windows: What?

Me: A driver or something. I don't know. It's downloading.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why is it going to take five minutes?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay.

Windows: ...

Me: Well, it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: So, it's installing.

Windows: Okay.

Me: You know, my OS came out after the 360.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: So why didn't you just include the driver with the OS?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: I have a lot of useless stuff from you already. Why didn't you just include it?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why the hell do you always want me to restart? The light is lit up. Why do I have to restart?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Bill Gates doesn't even know why I have to restart.

Windows: Well...we don't talk anymore.

Me: Huh. Well, I'm not restarting.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I'm going to go play my game now.

Windows: We'll see...

Me: Wait.

Windows: What?

Me: Why's the program still there?

Windows: Which one?

Me: The one I installed the driver with.

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Why couldn't you just delete it after it installed?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: And what's this Windows Update thing?

Windows: Hm?

Me: You just installed the driver and already you need to fix it.

Windows: Well... This is an update just for you.

Me: You couldn't just put the latest version on your website?

Windows: No.

Me: You asked me what OS I was using.

Windows: Yes. Yes I did.

Me: So. You could have just the latest one for my OS there. On that special page. For me.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Huh.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: You want me to restart again.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Fine.

Windows: See you later.

Me: Whatever.

So the unemployment benefits that Oliver totally was going to get and sit on while he didn't look for a job?

He didn't get them.

So Katti and Oliver have barely any money. They just received their stimulus check in the mail so there's that.

But other than that?

Rent is due in two weeks. They haven't paid us for cable, gas or electric since we moved in.

Nick and I cannot afford to do this but we can't afford to do it alone either.

Bummer.

Things I heard from the latest winner of ANTM

Alter-alias
Calls herself McKey ... real name Brittany
...her voice

Okay, the only things that bugged me were her voice and how she kept calling McKey her alter-alias. Like it was a real word. Since she's only 19 and a sophomore, maybe she hasn't gotten to the English class where they teach you real words.

I thought the blond girl was cuter. Also, this one slouched.

I am sick and tired of polisci kids thinking that because they are a polisci major they somehow are more worldly and knowledgeable than I am. That they are somehow better than I am.

And this not voting shit? WHAT THE FUCK.

I don't care if your hippie ideals don't fit with the world you live in. You live here. I'm sorry your dreams are being crushed but this is the real world.

For fuck's sake, you're a woman! I hate to pull the starving children in China routine but you are damn lucky you even have this opportunity. I don't care if you think your vote is supporting some corrupt system. If your vote doesn't count, as you say it doesn't, how could it support anything.

Sitting at home not voting and thinking about how the world could be better does nothing. I'm not saying voting will but at that point, doing anything will.

The world won't change in a day. It won't change with your increasing polisci knowledge, it won't change with my vote. But maybe the person I vote for will change something small.

Even if that doesn't happen, I can do something. You can do something. Wars aren't won as wars, they are won as battles. My vote changes something. In that decision, universes split off.

I just don't understand how someone as intelligent as you are can be so stupid.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."

Names have been removed so you don't hunt me down and kill me

I knew you were head over heels for God but I didn't know it was the spirit healing, homosexual-hating, anti-abortion, god.

I should have guessed as much when you couldn't live with your fiancé before you got married but I held on to hope that our god was the same god. It apparently is not.



RE:[...]HATES living in GR, and wants to move, and is terrified because someone tried to break into our house last night, after breaking into our car AGAIN! ugh!

"Crime happens everywhere and once it happens to you it puts fear in you. Did [...] ever have anyone pray through that house before he moved in? The property? We should come over and anoint the house, the property, and your vehicles. I'd be happy to do that and I'm sure I can find some others to do that with us. I think you will see a big difference. Now is not a good time to sell your house so we need to pray and let God show you what a great protector He can be."

The president's son brought his dog in today. To work. Apparently the RR wanted to see it. She isn't in today.

It's a big dog.

Quickie

ED's last day was Friday. Admissions had two parties for her, one on Thursday and one on Friday.

Our office was not invited to either of them. Neither were any other offices.

What's the point of an in-office party? Especially since we all really love ED? We invite them to all of our parties.

Now I totally hate Admissions. It's like the cool kids had a party and talked all about it. And no one else was invited.

Confessions/Rants

I recently discovered the truth about myself. I have kept it hidden from so many people for so long but I feel that now you must know the truth.





I am a multilevel dork.

I am a closeted comic book nerd. I am excited for the Captain America and Thor movies that are not due out for years.

I like using HTML more than being able to press ctrl b here. I'd rather less than b greater than rather than do this ctrl thing. It makes me feel common.

I love Mario Kart but when I get frustrated with it, I pop in GTA IV and go work for the mob or drive down sidewalks taking down everyone in my path.

If a band is popular, I no longer like it. only like it ironically.

I think Angelina Jolie is a crazy whore.

I hate people who don't use blinkers. Especially when they change lanes.

I always drive the speed limit.

When we saw the preview for the new X-Files movie (BOTH TIMES), I squealed and flailed (BOTH TIMES).

Whenever there was an in-joke during the Hulk movie, I was excited.

I have not watched Trapped in the Closet since my last update.

I do not have a place to live after July 31 and this fact worries me more every day. Sadly, I am tired of looking at apartments already.

The Smiths will forever be my favorite band.

Music is very important to me. I cannot write papers without music. I clean with music. It is hard for me to drive our car because we don't have a radio and I, therefore, have no music.

Improper spelling drives me insane. I don't care where it is. Firefox automatically corrects your spelling. Get it, losers. In this same vein, I did not label one of my boxes "accessories" because I could not remember if both letters were doubled and it would pain me if I was incorrect. It instead got an &c.

People who cannot use the correct your/there drive me insane. I can always see it like it is jumping off the page/screen. Nick is one of these people. It should bother me more but when he does it, I never notice.