Confessions/Rants

I recently discovered the truth about myself. I have kept it hidden from so many people for so long but I feel that now you must know the truth.





I am a multilevel dork.

I am a closeted comic book nerd. I am excited for the Captain America and Thor movies that are not due out for years.

I like using HTML more than being able to press ctrl b here. I'd rather less than b greater than rather than do this ctrl thing. It makes me feel common.

I love Mario Kart but when I get frustrated with it, I pop in GTA IV and go work for the mob or drive down sidewalks taking down everyone in my path.

If a band is popular, I no longer like it. only like it ironically.

I think Angelina Jolie is a crazy whore.

I hate people who don't use blinkers. Especially when they change lanes.

I always drive the speed limit.

When we saw the preview for the new X-Files movie (BOTH TIMES), I squealed and flailed (BOTH TIMES).

Whenever there was an in-joke during the Hulk movie, I was excited.

I have not watched Trapped in the Closet since my last update.

I do not have a place to live after July 31 and this fact worries me more every day. Sadly, I am tired of looking at apartments already.

The Smiths will forever be my favorite band.

Music is very important to me. I cannot write papers without music. I clean with music. It is hard for me to drive our car because we don't have a radio and I, therefore, have no music.

Improper spelling drives me insane. I don't care where it is. Firefox automatically corrects your spelling. Get it, losers. In this same vein, I did not label one of my boxes "accessories" because I could not remember if both letters were doubled and it would pain me if I was incorrect. It instead got an &c.

People who cannot use the correct your/there drive me insane. I can always see it like it is jumping off the page/screen. Nick is one of these people. It should bother me more but when he does it, I never notice.

CHAPTER FIVE

dude. He sang the bleep. Awesome.

I love hypocrites. R Kelly, you done cheated on her too.

There's the beretta! Okay. Sex with the gun on? Wow.

I don't know how this one will have a cliffhanger. She cheated on him, he cheated on her. The end.

Oh. That's how. I guess he didn't sing the I got pulled over bit.

So. Gwen has a friend Roxanne who knows Chuck and Rufus (the gays from the beginning). Rufus' wife Kathy, with whom R Kelly had an affair, went to high school with Gwen. Kathy introduced Gwen to Police Officer who made R Kelly a cuckold.

CHAPTER FOUR

This is some stylistic driving shit.

Woo woo. I will never hear sirens the same way again.

Are police officers allowed to smoke on the job?

Gwen is an awesome liar.

I am going to try singing/narrating every sex scene from now on. Oh and this sex with pants on thing? Fantastic!

Nice cover up, lying Gwen. TOO BAD IT DIDN'T WORK.

CHAPTER THREE

Okay, pastor with a gay lover, totally cool. Whatever. But your wife picked up some baretta-wielding guy at the club who is now threatening to kill you both and this is the moment you choose to be all hey I'm gay? POOR PLANNING, SIR.

WHY IS R KELLY STILL THERE? Flee the coop! Flee! This ain't none of y'all's bidness.

Okay, shooting commences. I hope no one lives upstairs. Geez.

Who calls it a cellular? Oh R Kelly and your vernacular.

OMG IS HIS WIFE A CHEATIN TOO?

Okay. If she is, why would she let her lover pick up the phooooone? seriously.

I guess we'll find out in...CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER TWO

Kathy looks like she was told to look scared. And she didn't know how.

What the hell is mack shit? I need me a dictionary all up in here.

Click. Who sings the sound you make when you hang up the phone? Really. I wish I'd written this.

Oh no! Who is on the phone!? Why are they coming back? I think I remember this part.

Okay, he is going to shoot both of them because he doesn't know who is walking up the stairs? I don't know how people with guns roll but this is silly.

CHAPTER ONE

I forgot how awesomely bad this episodic adventure was. Just the title screen makes me giggle.

That damn dripping water sound is going to drive me insane.

Omg he's in two places at once! On the bed and in the closet.

Woman move out my way! ... Shu shu quiet. Man, this is classic. There he goes to the closet. There's the upstanding husband...

OH NO HIS PHONE IS RINGING!

OMG OMG DON'T LOOK IN THE CLOSET!

Okay, if this story is to be believed, who brings their beretta to the club? I mean, really.

NOW HE'S AT THE CLOSET NOW HE'S OPENING THE CLOSET. Classy lines, man.

Trapped in the Closet

The first time I watched Trapped in the Closet was three years ago with Micah at AQ. It must have been after some SAC thing. He dragged a bunch of us over to St Joe's and we crowded around someone's laptop, watching the first 11 chapters (if there were more back then, we would have been all over it).

Yesterday, on a whim, I decided to google it and found all TWENTY-TWO CHAPTERS up on ifc.com. Now, I have not watched them all yet but I thought it would be a great way to kick of my liveblog.

Because, really, is there anything better out there?