NEWS! THAT IS GOOD! GOOD NEWS!

I know I mentioned this to you guys in passing but it seems to be actually happening so I feel like I can really talk about this now.

Nick's parents bought a car van and are fixing it up for Nick and I. They estimate it will cost about $1000 to fix everything on it (dented driver's door, dented panel above driver's side front tire, no driver's side mirror--all from the accident that put it in Nick's parents' possession) and they are giving us a year to pay them back. We definitely don't need that long to pay that small amount but it is so very nice of them to give us an extended amount of time. The interior needs to be cleaned out (cheerios, crumbs, children wreckage etc) but other than that, it should be ready for us in the next couple of weeks!

It is a 2002 Chrysler Town and Country minivan. It has heated seats (!), automatic sliding and hatch doors along with cap'n seats, a four disc CD changer and leather seats.

I have not seen it yet and I do not know what color it is so it has not a name. I only know it is awesome and we are so very blessed. I am so thankful. If we really end up moving like we want to, this will be perfect for our big move out of state.

And it makes me want to have/steal a baby to make it useful. Also, road trips: this time it's for real.

Hey, news media!

I don't hate Nadya Suleman because the economy is bad, news media. I would hate her even if I was the richest person in the world and everyone else was happy and had tons of money.

I hate her because she is a single, unemployed mom who already has six kids under the age of eight who is living with her mother. I hate her because one of those six kids is autistic. I hate her because none of her children will get the special attention they need. I hate her because she thinks she can breastfeed all eight of the kids she just had. I hate her because there are people out there trying for just one kid, and never able to have that one kid, while she gets 14. I hate her because she's an idiot.

I want to have kids too but you don't see me running out and getting knocked up. I know that I can't afford to support even one kid right now. How in the world did she think she could support 14? I'm sorry but she cannot have eight more kids and rely on sponsors or media support. I don't think she thought this through at all.

And what kind of doctor transfers six embryos when she has six kids already and is younger than 35? This is just a fucked up situation all around.

ALSO! Do not have babies because you want to be loved. Have babies because you have love to give.

Birthdupdate

See what I did there? Remember when I promised you a birthday update and then nothing happened? Well I slept in today and can't sleep so here it is! Finally.

I worked on B-Day because otherwise I would have just sat at home. Alone. And I wouldn't have gotten as many birthday wishes. Work had a mini party for Cindy and I (her birthday is the day after mine) and I realized that I do not want to be working there indefinitely like Ashley. After work I waited for Nick to get home and we went to meet my parents for dinner at Palace of India. My dad was out of town (like he tends to be on my birthday. I don't know if you remember but he was out of town the day I left for France. And he felt awful about it.) but he made it just in time. The food was delicious. My family was awesome. My mom gave Nick a hug (A HUG!) so I think she's finally decided that he is sticking around for a while. Mind you we have been only dating for almost five years, Mother. But whatever. She's weird.

I got a cool retro red dress that I would find and link to for you but I have a cute cat on my lap. I also got a shirt that says "I got an A+ in 'French'" and John Hodgman's new book (autographed!). Oh and a board game I wanted for Christmas that Katti has already found out how to win. Yay!

Thursday, Friday and Saturday we didn't do anything. I got moody (see below) and hid in Nick's car to surprise him at work. That "ruined his surprise" of buying himself ice skates so we can go ice skating together all the time. We planned to go ice skating that night but got sleepy and napped instead. We didn't go Sunday because of the game and finally went Monday.

Monday I got out of class early and went to dinner with Nick's parents (and Jess and Ryan and roommates). We went to Logan's and it was delicious. It turns out that they bought this 2002 Chrysler Town and Country and are fixing it up for me and Nick! After they fix everything it should only cost $1000 and they'll give us a year to pay them back. So soon Nick and I will have an awesome, pimpin', working van/car to drive! This means road trips, kids! And happy Rachel again! Yay!

Nick took me ice skating after dinner. I had to relearn everything but it came back to me quickly. And I wore my own ice skates! I don't know what it is with ice skating but I didn't stop smiling the entire time. It was perfect.

Then we got home and I wasn't feeling well. My nose starting running and I seriously said "oh no I better not be getting a cold" and went to bed early. I woke up with a death cold. Stage 2 of Nick's death cold. I've been sleeping ever since.

Anyway my birthday week was awesome and I'm blessed to have such awesome friends and family. Thank you all for the birthday wishes and presents. Moi, I seriously cannot wait until I get my period again so I can whip that cute little case out. Or my next hot date.

I love you all.

I may be in a mood...

Dear Life (formerly of The Cereal, now Comma My),

Thank you for the awesome birthday week. It was great to have dinner with my parents at a delicious Indian restaurant and I'm glad you let me drag Nick along while he suffered through the terminal stages of Extended Man Cold™.

I am blessed to have awesome friends that wished me a happy birthday all week long. Although work has become super lame since you decided my favorite kid needed to get fired and you brought my arch-nemesis back from Spain, it was great to have to work on my birthday and celebrate with the people I have been stuck with for the past four years. You made me look forward to graduation and leaving this town so much more!

I've got to say though, the coolest part of this birthday week has to be all the plans you decided weren't awesome enough to actually work! Instead of going ice skating with my boyfriend, you gave him a cold and death cough for a week and a half more -- just long enough for him to be whiny, unbearable and asleep by eight o'clock every night of my birthday week. It was also really nice of you to give my roommate a great car, tempt us with a Sonic located closer to us and then decide that her car needed a new alternator the day before the planned trip, trapping us at my school for an hour and a half longer than we really wanted to be there. That was great.

I have one thing to thank you for though. For my birthday weekend, I will pay rent, pay all overdue bills (most likely on my own) and get a haircut then be unable to eat or do anything for the rest of the week. Thank you so much! This is even better than the time you tempted me with seeing the friends I hadn't seen since August and then decided that all six backup plans wouldn't work. And I thought that was awesome. Oh man, I didn't even know you were going to get me a birthday present!

I guess I wanted to just say thanks. Now I know that I really should never plan anything ever again.

However, if you want to come to my graduation, I was just planning on becoming poor and homeless afterward. I don't need a new car, we only need one door to be able to open really and who doesn't love scraping off the outside and inside of the car? I also was just planning on staying in Michigan and never getting a job with my bachelor's degree. Maybe I should plan on drowning in all my debt? Alone? Because I'm planning on never being engaged or married and I never truly wanted kids.

If you want to ruin those plans, go ahead.

Love,
Rachel

P.S. No, I did not get to make that birthday cake, Toi. Because I planned on it and I wanted to.

This totally just happened

(Nick's asleep in bed sideways, covered up by my blanket. He needs to move to his side of the bed and take his blanket and his pillows. Also the bed has moved away from the wall and needs to be pushed against the wall again. I cannot do this while he slumbers. The bed is pretty big and heavy and Nick makes it impossible to move. This whole conversation takes place with Nick half asleep, eyes closed. Intermittent snores are heard.)


Me: Nick?

(I proceed to say his name about ten more times.)

Me: Open your eyes so I know you're listening to me.

(He keeps his eyes closed and, for some reason, raises his left hand.)

Me: Nick? Open your eyes.

(He does not open his eyes. He puts his left hand down and raises his right hand, smashing me in the face and putting his pinky up my nose. His eyes open for a second. He is immediately asleep again.)

Me: Why did you raise your hand?

(He's totally asleep again.)

Me: Nick. Nick, move. You need to move.

(He wiggles.)

Me: You want to move? To your side of the bed?

Nick: Nnnnnmnnnn

(He sort of moves over a little but he's still laying on the bed sideways. Now he's totally in my spot. I decide to let him wake up a little bit and continue talking to him.)

Me: Nick? Did you set your alarm?

Nick: Yes.

(He's awake! Sort of. I pick up his clock. The alarm is not set. He is totally just sleep talking to me.)

Me: What time do you want to wake up?

Nick: mnnnnnnnm 10:09.

(He has to work at 10. He has a meeting at 11. He has to leave the house at 9:30. He is so totally still asleep. I decided that only continuous talking will rouse him from his slumber.)

Me: You have to be at work at 10, Nick. What time do you want to wake up?

Nick: 10:30.

(I start setting the alarm clock for the time I think he usually wakes up, 8:45.)

Me: You didn't answer me. Or move. What time do you want to wake up?

Nick: I TOLD YOU ALREADY!

(This is shouted at me like I'm the crazy one in this conversation. He finally moves to his side of the bed, resumes sleep.)

Me: You need to get up, I need to fix the bed.

Nick: mmnnnnnnmmmmm

(He stands up. I don't think his eyes are ever open. He somehow navigates to the end of the bed and pushes it against the wall. He gets back in bed and is asleep in seconds.)

Me: Do you want pillows? Do you have enough pillows? Nick?

(I receive snores in response. I hate that he can fall asleep this quickly. I hate it because I am jealous. I bet you five bucks he does not remember any of this conversation in the morning. I set two extra alarms to get him up because he is dead tired.)

P.S. BIRTHDAY UPDATES WILL COMMENCE TOMORROW.

ME

It is my birthday!

Nick got me drunk last night FOR ZERO REASONS.

Then I went to class. And work.

THIS NEWS AND MORE... AT 11.

Woman things

If Baby!Bro or Nick are reading, they may want to stop now. In fact, the ladies might want to look away too.

I have started using tampons. And I can't believe I ever said a word against them. I feel like I'm not even bleeding out my baby hole. And I bleed for two days less than I used to. I'm still trying to find out how often I need to change it because it seems like day one is fine but days two and three are crazy.

I blasted through my first box (of 40) in two periods. I ran out at my parents' house and despite (or because of?) not bleeding for the past eight years, my mom had extra tampons lying around. She said they were on sale so she threw a box at me. They're deodorizing (which means they smell) and have a different applicator and...tampon part than the other ones. I don't like them. It's weird having brand loyalty when I've only been using tampons for two months.

I don't remember why I'm writing.

I feel like I'm producing a lot more waste with tampons than with pads. There's the wrapping, the applicator (plastic) and the actual cotton wad compared to the pad and two little wrappers. And the blood. Gross.

So I'm thinking that I might start using the Diva Cup. Because I feel like this waste is ridiculous. And how hard will it be to have that up there after a tampon anyway?