Nick's coworker also passed away Sunday night. He was 35, divorced, had two daughters and had a massive heart attack in his sleep.

See why I hate April?

omgwtf

One of my friends (as Nick enjoys pointing out frequently, my internet friends (that I have never met in my life but talk to all the time (and sometimes I think of/see things that they would totally love (and then tell them about it later and of course they love it/already know about it)))) lives in NYC. She's finishing up grad school in forensics right now, at the same time I'm finishing up college. We are bonding over last minute exams and papers.

She works for the NYPD. She was working in forensics but is now working in narcotics. She's very good friends with her coworkers as many of them are/were classmates.

One of these coworkers was found stabbed to death this morning.

And even though I don't really know her, even though we've never met, I still feel just as upset and sickened as I would if we were close friends. But unlike my other friends, I can't hop in the car and go see her. Or call her and meet up somewhere. I can't be there for her. I can't hug her and tell her everything will be okay. So I am just reassuring her everywhere I can. Facebook, her journal, everywhere.

Ugh ugh ugh. I was just thinking about how awesome my life has been so far, how little of a dent 22 years is, and looking forward to the rest of awesomeness. I only hope that her life was just as good. And that her friends and coworkers can just keep breathing, just keep moving.

Update

Bad news comes in threes, right?

Nick's grandmother (the one on his father's side, the one his parents are staying with)'s best friend passed away yesterday. Four years ago on the 15th, Nick's grandfather (her husband) passed away.

So at 9 Sunday morning, we all got up and drove up to the house to basically house-sit while Grandma got out.



I got to see the house in daylight on Sunday. I don't know what was the worst thing to see: how small the hole is...the hole that used to be the house, the steps that led to the front door that are now cement steps to nothing, how little is left or the charred leaves and grass surrounding the house, the charred path carved out behind the house to the man who started it all, the ash that threatened to jump the road to take out another house. I don't know.

I think I was in shock before then because Sunday night it really hit me that it was all gone. And Nick's parents are spending their days making lists of everything they had, trying to remember everything they lived with, how old it was, where they bought it and quoting things that have no price. Things like Nick's grandfather's woodworking tools, the baby clothes, his great-grandmother's handmade quilts, his grandfather's guns, the bunk bed his father made, his mother's wedding dress, Jess' cake and all the pictures of everyone and everything.



I feel like I need to be helping out more but there's nothing we can do. I can make food, I guess. I can give hugs. But these lists, the insurance stuff, everything. I can't help.

When they start to look for places to live, then I can help.



Thanks for everything, kids. Love ya.

I baked food, kids!

(If you click "Read more" at the end of this entry, it will take you to this entry on its own page and the recipe will be right below this text, before the rest of my blabbing. I did this so you don't have to scroll past a lot of stuff to see my other entries and you don't have to scroll down to see the recipe. And because I am that cool.)

It is below because I don't like the code I found.

Here's the recipe in American (with my notes in italics):

Prep time: 1 hour
Baking time: 25-30 min. (Either my oven was really hot or was preheated for a long time but mine only took 23 minutes)

Ingredients (yields about 8 egg-cupcakes):
6 TBSP and 2 TSP butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup white sugar
8 eggs (medium or large, shells only) ONLY USE 3 for the batter
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
~2 tbsp eggnog (I don't know where you can get eggnog all year round. Maybe you can make it using your other five eggs. It's just for white egg-cupcakes. Just make chocolate ones and you'll be fine. Or, please, please for the love of all that is holy, use a box mix.)
1 tbsp cacao powder (Cocoa powder. Stupid British.)
~2 tbsp milk
sunflower oil for greasing the eggs (I used vegetable oil and it was fine.)
aluminum foil (I used these awesome disposable mini-muffin/cupcake aluminum foil tins that Katti bought for mini-quiches. It was perfect, like it was made for this recipe. She bought them at Meijer and they came in a pack of four or so with wrappers.)

1. Poke a tiny whole in the bottom side of the egg by using a needle or an egg poker. (I gently cracked the top of the egg on the table then poked a hole with a toothpick. I then just broke a bigger hole with my finger. It ended up being pretty big, about an inch.) Carefully enlarge the hole using a pointy knife, make sure to only break small pieces of the egg shell to better control the size of the hole, about 1cm (or .5") would be perfect. Turn the eggs upside down and empty them in a small bowl (ONLY DUMP THREE EGG INSIDES INTO ONE BOWL. Dump the other five eggs in another bowl AS YOU USE ONLY THREE EGGS FOR THE BATTER like a terrible, wasteful person. Make an omelet for breakfast or something.), some of the egg white/yolk will be used later for the cake batter (three eggs). If the yolk and egg white refuse to come out, take a wooden skewer and poke inside the egg. (I used the toothpick to drag the yolk out. It is really gross and sounds gross and feels weird and seems really hard but after the first one it is really easy.)



2. Clean the shells in cold water and prepare a bowl with salt water (I put a bunch of salt in warm water and stirred it with my fingers until it dissolved), fully immerse the egg shell, make sure there's no air trapped inside. Remove them after about half an hour, rinse them under cold water and let them dry on a paper towel, with the hole pointing down. Meanwhile preheat the oven to 355°F. (I rinsed out the eggs in cold water both before and after the salt water soak. Don't worry, eggshells are actually pretty thick and strong. Just don't turn the tap on all the way or YOU WILL WASTE ANOTHER EGG YOU TERRIBLE PERSON.)



3. Baking prep: A muffin tray works great, use little pieces of aluminum foil to form rings, which will help the eggs to stand upright during the filling and baking process. (Again, I used Katti's awesome disposable mini pan. Really, this can wait because this other stuff is so annoying. Unless you are using cake mix. Then it is awesome.)



4. In a large bowl beat the soft butter together with the sugar until the sugar has dissolved, then add three eggs. (ONLY THREE EGGS. The three that you oh so wisely separated from the other five earlier when I told you so. It is okay if you didn't. Eggs are awesome and tend to stay in their own eggy package so just pour three out.) Beat well until the batter gets a creamy consistency, then add the flour together with the baking powder. Whisk until evenly combined. (Just buy a mix, people. The beating and the whisking is so hard. So, so hard. And so annoying. I hate beating butter. And creaming butter. ugh ugh ugh. I wish I could pay someone to cream butter for me so I would never have to do it again. Sigh. And whisking that concoction? I made Nick help me toward the end because it was really thick and my arm started to hurt.)



5. Divide the batter into two separate bowls. (This is only important if you are making both white and chocolate egg-cupcakes. Otherwise, just keep it in the one bowl.) Add the eggnog to one, the cacao (COCOA!) to the other. If it is too thick, you may want to add some more eggnog (for the yellowish batter) or a bit more milk (for the brown batter) (Mine was thick back there when they tried to make me whisk rubber cement. I actually didn't have to add any extra liquid here.)



6. Drizzle about 1 teaspoon of sunflower oil (Vegetable oil is A-OKAY!) in each egg and turn/flip it in your hand until the inside is completely covered. Get rid of any excess oil. (I put a little bit of oil in the first egg, swirled it around then dumped the excess in the next egg, swirled it around and dumped the excess in the next egg etc, doing the same for the rest of the eggs. I was already wasting five eggs, man.)



7. The hardest part is to fill the eggs, you can do it with a teaspoon and A LOT OF patience or you use a piping bag with a small nozzle. (Katti reminded me that I could MacGuyver a piping bag out of a regular ziploc bag. I just filled it up and cut a hole in the corner like I've seen good old Alton Brown do hundreds of times.) If you want bicolored cake eggs, start with one batter and finish with the second batter. Fill the eggs up to half and two thirds full, sort of trial and error - I seem to never hit the exact amount: Sometimes it is too few and the eggs will look incomplete or it is too much and the batter escapes through the holes, making a mess. You can easily remove the excess parts after they're cooled down, so better add a bit more. (It is really hard to tell how full the eggs are. Make sure to have a bright light source around to hold the eggs up to. Maybe I had small eggs (probably) but filling them up to two thirds full totally made them overflow. But this kid is right, just pick off the extra when it has cooled down a bit and you are fine. It was super easy.)



8. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes. (Again, mine were great after 23 minutes because my stove is crazy lame) A wooden skewer should come out clean, if the cake eggs are done. (Or a loyal toothpick!) Remove from the oven and let cool down completely before cracking them open and peeling off the shell. (I am sorry but the coolest part is the fact that you cooked them in the shell. Leave the shell on, stick them in an egg carton, and be proud of yourself. You just cooked cupcakes in eggshells! If you just want egg-shaped cupcakes, get a jello mold, loser.)

Again, I'll let you guys know how they taste and if the cake mix really does make it easier. I am thinking of using my five extra eggs to make iles flottantes tomorrow night. If I do, there will totally be pictures. I'll keep you posted!

I made these today:



We are going to Nick's parents' house linner tomorrow and I've wanted to make these awesome egg-cupcakes for about a year. I sadly found the recipe right after Easter last year.

I would have taken pictures of the process but somebody couldn't find my camera the last time I wanted it and wouldn't wake up when I tried to get it from them this time.

So I used their cupcake pan ha ha.

I can tell you one thing, you definitely have to have a lot of patience. I thought "this is the hardest part" at every single step. I still don't know which part was the worst. Probably the last.

I just made chocolate ones because I don't know where to find eggnog at this time of year. The only bad part about that was the fact that they overflowed and looked really...gross when they came out of the oven. And I only cooked them for 23 minutes instead of the 25-30. Oh and I had to convert the recipe to American. I'll post my converted recipe at the end of this. The converted recipe can be found by clicking "read more" at the end of this post. It will take you to a new page that has the recipe right at the beginning of this post so you don't have to scroll past it and I can be awesome.

It was a lot of fun though. I'll let you guys know what the in-laws think of them tomorrow. I kept them in their shells and put them back in an egg carton for maximum awesomeosity. I'd take a picture but...

Next time I make them (probably Monday night for work on Tuesday), I'll just use cake mix instead of making it from scratch. It's pretty silly to make cupcake mix from scratch when I can just buy a box and save myself so much trouble. And there will be pictures.

Funny story, kids

I can't believe I left this out!

I did not apply for the job I have an interview for next week.

They found me.

On one of the many sites my resume is on, they found me.

So thanks for the congratulations on my bravery but I am not worthy.

Dudes stalked me.

I have an interview next week for a bilingual customer service job.

The other language being French.

The other language being a language I hate speaking.

What am I doing?

Nick said it can just be an in between. A job I have for a while before I hear back from the government jobs I've applied to.

But what if I don't get those either? What if I'm stuck speaking French for the next year or two. I don't know if I can do it.

We'll see. I mean, I don't even have it yet.

Ugh. I don't know. I guess it's cool but I hate French. Why am I majoring in it? I like writing it. And I love translating it. It's like a puzzle. I love figuring it out. But I can't stand speaking it.

I think I'm just ready to graduate already. I have three or four more papers to write plus tons of homework and I'm already done done done.