#100

I recently was promoted at work and am now a supervisor. It means nothing except never speaking French again. Not really but mostly. I rarely speak French now but still get paid for it.

I decided that I cannot start a blog right now because I have no time, energy or willpower to keep something going like that.

Nick has agreed (and expressed on his own, to my parents earlier today) that it would be nice to be married by the end of the year. He has not bought the ring yet (or he is lying to me...hmm... (He stated that he won't buy it until right before the proposal because he thinks I'd find it/find out. (Also I think it's because he gets too excited with surprises and would probably want to propose the second he got the ring (This has happened with many a Christmas present. It's adorable but the kid doesn't understand Christmas magic.)))) but has said that he knows when and how the proposal will go down. So keep the rest of the year open, ladies!

Nick's little sister is pregnant. The one whose wedding I was in back in October 2008. I thought I'd be jealous when this happened or upset but when I found out, I was so incredibly happy (and still am). It's a baby! A baby that I can play with and spoil and babysit and take care of and then give back. I am so excited. Nick's family is so adorable, they immediately bought tons of baby clothes, accessories, books etc. This is the first baby in the family in a long time. Nick said we'll use this as a test drive. This baby will probably determine if our baby timeline is moved forward, moved back or stays where it is. I am very excited. This is also the closest I have been to a pregnancy (personal relationship- and geographical location -wise) since I starting being all baby crazy and super aware of my imminent family timeline. So this is a lesson for me too. Have I mentioned how excited I am?

It is 5:30 AM and I can hear birds waking up. I don't have to work until 3:30 this afternoon. I love working second shift.

I'll hopefully be back more often. We will see. Also, I owe you all a bunch of phone calls and birthday wishes. I'm sorry. Love you kids.

Blah-g

I do not know what I will blog about.

I am not interesting or particularly funny. All the blogs I read now are fashion, gossip, parenthood or wedding based. Or adorable pictures of animals to make me happy.

None of which I am any sort of expert on.

I was thinking of doing my Bible a Day and Qur'an a Day adventures on a real blog but Nick said it might just be weird and religion is always tense. And since that's more of a self-exploration than a sharing thing anyway, I agree with Nick.

So I don't know. It might just be a blog. And then we'll see how it goes. Nothing is going to start until I get a good name going anyway. I'm thinking of twisting Nick's last name into something awesome.

I just need a hobby. And since I can't craft and can barely bake but love writing, this seems perfect. It's an escape.

Why I want to have children

Did not get new position at NewJob. My supervisor was so nice about it and sent me encouraging emails.

Nick and I talked about realistic goals. He said I should start a blog. A real one. Which is something I've been thinking about doing for a while, I just thought it was silly.

So as soon as I think of a neat name and something to write about, I will be a blogger.

I've been in a super bad funk for about a week and a half. I thought it would go away once my period did but nope.

I'm just so tired of where I'm at. I applied for another position at work before Christmas and I still haven't heard back on it.

I'm so upset that I don't have the life I want to have. I'm irrationally angry about other people being engaged when I'm not. And I'm upset that I might not be married this year. For some reason.

There's really no reason for me to be this upset or depressed. I just am. I hope this goes away in a little bit because I'm seriously considering just going crazy and fixing it the easy way... by getting rid of NewJob. But in a state with an employment rate of almost 15%, I know it's a terrible, terrible idea. We've been pretty poor lately as it is.

I'll keep you posted.

For serious

Nick and I were talking about getting married this weekend and he mentioned that it probably won't happen this year.

For some reason I got really upset. If I don't get married this summer, I know I'm going to be disappointed. I'm already upset about it.

I decided I'm going to start planning. I'll get the costs all together and lay it out for him.

Did I tell you we looked at rings the other day? I fell in love with one but it was $2800. So then I was depressed for about a month.

This is happening. Weekend project.

P.S. Birthday month.

Cross-post...because I cannot write two separate posts

I just watched Return to Me and then played some Assassin's Creed. I now have the world's strongest yearning to go back to Italy. Seriously.

I think Italian will be my next language to learn. After I finish my current goals, of course.


Oh, here are my New Year's whatevers:
(Check out that underline, this is official, kids.)

Read the Bible (that I've had since third grade) and blah-g about it.

Read the Qur'an (that I received from the wonderful CAIR) and blah-g about it.

Find a church that I like (and actually go and check it out) at least once a month (current prospects: Fountain Street Church and Grand Rapids Friends).

Get married (ha ha).