Why I want to have children

Did not get new position at NewJob. My supervisor was so nice about it and sent me encouraging emails.

Nick and I talked about realistic goals. He said I should start a blog. A real one. Which is something I've been thinking about doing for a while, I just thought it was silly.

So as soon as I think of a neat name and something to write about, I will be a blogger.

I've been in a super bad funk for about a week and a half. I thought it would go away once my period did but nope.

I'm just so tired of where I'm at. I applied for another position at work before Christmas and I still haven't heard back on it.

I'm so upset that I don't have the life I want to have. I'm irrationally angry about other people being engaged when I'm not. And I'm upset that I might not be married this year. For some reason.

There's really no reason for me to be this upset or depressed. I just am. I hope this goes away in a little bit because I'm seriously considering just going crazy and fixing it the easy way... by getting rid of NewJob. But in a state with an employment rate of almost 15%, I know it's a terrible, terrible idea. We've been pretty poor lately as it is.

I'll keep you posted.

For serious

Nick and I were talking about getting married this weekend and he mentioned that it probably won't happen this year.

For some reason I got really upset. If I don't get married this summer, I know I'm going to be disappointed. I'm already upset about it.

I decided I'm going to start planning. I'll get the costs all together and lay it out for him.

Did I tell you we looked at rings the other day? I fell in love with one but it was $2800. So then I was depressed for about a month.

This is happening. Weekend project.

P.S. Birthday month.

Cross-post...because I cannot write two separate posts

I just watched Return to Me and then played some Assassin's Creed. I now have the world's strongest yearning to go back to Italy. Seriously.

I think Italian will be my next language to learn. After I finish my current goals, of course.


Oh, here are my New Year's whatevers:
(Check out that underline, this is official, kids.)

Read the Bible (that I've had since third grade) and blah-g about it.

Read the Qur'an (that I received from the wonderful CAIR) and blah-g about it.

Find a church that I like (and actually go and check it out) at least once a month (current prospects: Fountain Street Church and Grand Rapids Friends).

Get married (ha ha).